Mercilessly the March of Progress Charges On

Phone rings.

Solicitee: How may I help you?

Solicitor: I'd like to speak to the owner.

Solicitee: Okay, well, you'll have to call our corporate office.

Solicitor: Can I get that number?

Solicitee: Sure, it's xxx-xxx-x4xx.

Solicitor: And who do I ask for?

Solicitee: You should ask for Helen.

Solicitor (aghast): Helen?!

Solicitee: Yes, Helen.

Solicitor (relieved): Oh, Colin...

Solicitee: No, Helen.

Solicitor: Howard?

Solicitee: Helen.

Solicitor: Got it, Edwin.

Solicitee: Helen. H-E-L-E-N.

Solicitor: ...Michael?

*click*

- cs